Have you ever heard of the saying, “It’s called the present because it is a gift”? I have and though I didn’t know where it came from, it resonated with me so much. As anyone faced with a life-threatening event can attest, it’s easy to give into anxiety about the future. Uncertainty, questioning, searching for answers. This past weekend was a strange one. I’ve been thinking a lot about the past year and started worrying again about my future. I’ve heard about some sad news peripherally about a couple of women that didn’t make it through their cancer diagnosis, and it felt heavy on my heart. Sometimes there is feeling of guilt, that as of today, I feel good and I’m getting my life back on track, yet others aren’t as fortunate. Then sometimes there is the nagging question of ‘will that be my fate as well?’.
We drove up to the farm this weekend to get out of the city and fill our lungs with some fresh air. We’re members of the Stonebarns Center, just an hour north of NYC. They offer fun activities like vegetable harvesting, meeting farm animals, tastings — just totally up my alley. It was a rainy day so there wasn’t much going on so we decided to just take the dogs for a stroll along the grassy paths. Oliver even met his first cow friend.
The rain put a damper on what we envisioned to be a sunny fun day in the farm, not to mention Larry got some frustrating news about work so it left us feeling a bit…bleh.
That, coupled with the whirlwind of emotions I was feeling, I could feel the anxiety rising. I had with me a book that I got from a neighbor a few weeks back. It was titled The Precious Present and it was a super short read, yet super powerful. It all begins with a young boy talking to an old wise man…
The boy spends his lifetime searching for this precious present, and even as an adult, never quite finds it as the old man described. The old man eventually passes, and the young man grows angry and sick looking for this elusive gift. And one day when he stopped searching…
Now. This present moment is the gift, and it is precious. All that is and how it is at this moment is how it’s supposed to be. The rain, the crappy coworker, the weirdness of the weekend — they are all how they are supposed to be. And no amount of worry or anxiety will change that. I have the power to stay in the present, I have the power to choose to be happy not when or if. Now.
The book hit me hard. I reflected upon these very simple words, closed my eyes, and started breathing. Peace was catching up with me.
As we walked back to the car at the end of the day, I looked down and saw this rusted metal thing on the floor.
Perhaps it was a sign. A not-so-subtle message that this moment, right now is what it’s supposed to be — with all it’s flaws and crazy dips — and it is still perfect. ❤